Thursday, April 21, 2016
Embarrassing Moments with Jean Joachim
I'm excited to have Jean Joachim with me today. Jean is the first person to tell me about one of her embarrassing moments, and she tells one of her character Griff's as well. I'm always looking for more embarrassing moments, so if any other writers out there are willing to come clean and tell the embarrassing truth, shoot me an email at jana dot richards at hotmail dot com and we'll talk.
Embarrassing moments are hilarious when they happen to someone else. I love to embarrass my characters in my books. Here’s a passage from Griff Montgomery, Quarterback. Griff hasn’t figured out that he’s in love with Lauren. One night, when he was with Carla, his friend with benefits, he called out Lauren’s name at an inopportune moment. Carla was seething. A few days later, she had a chance to take revenge. Here’s the scene.
(Below this is a brief recollection of a very embarrassing moment for me in real life. Griff insisted I fess up to one in this post, too.)
“Oh, I’m not his girlfriend. Lauren is.” Carla glared at Griff.
Suddenly, the collar on his shirt got tight.
“Lauren? You know Lauren?” Buddy asked.
Oh, shit. Here it comes.
“No, but I’d love to meet her,” she said, casting her gaze on Griff. “I’ve got a message for her.”
Over my dead body. He let out a breath before he guzzled more beer.
“That’s easy. She’s sitting right there.” Buddy pointed to Lauren and her friend, who were munching on burgers.
Griff turned to look and spat out his drink. Holy shit.
“That’s Lauren? Griff’s Lauren?”
“Yep, that’s her,” Buddy said, ignoring the kick from Griff. “Ouch.”
Carla fisted a hand and rested it on her hip. “So, she’s your girlfriend?”
“No, no, no way. She’s my landlady. I’m renting a room with her while my house is being renovated.” The words poured out in rapid fire.
“Even better.” Carla licked her lips. “I’ll bet she has no idea you’re having sexual fantasies about her.”
“I’m not. It was an accident,” he hissed.
“Sure, sure. Keep telling yourself that. Wonder what she’d think if she knew?”
“Don’t, Carla. Please don’t. I’m begging you.” Griff reached for her arm, but she shook him off.
Buddy faced the quarterback. “What the hell did you do?”
“You don’t wanna know.”
“Oh no. You didn’t?” His eyebrows rose.
Griff nodded. “Guilty.”
“Whoa, stand back, Tony. There’s gonna be some fireworks in a minute.” Buddy pushed Hastings to the wall.
“You wouldn’t be lying, now, would ya?” Carla asked, directing her stare at Buddy.
“See for yourself.” He gestured to the brunette at the corner table.
“Lauren!” Carla cupped her hands and yelled.
Lauren stood up, turning to face them.
“Please, please, Carla. I’m sorry, so sorry,” Griff whispered. “Don’t do this.”
“Yes? Lauren Farraday.” Her gaze traveled from Carla to Griff.
No place to hide. This is gonna get ugly. Sweat gathered under his arms and on his forehead. His heartbeat doubled. He shifted his weight from foot to foot, trying to look relaxed under Lauren’s scrutiny.
“I have a message for you,” Carla called out.
“Carla, come on. After everything we’ve been through,” Griff pleaded.
“You’re right. Because of our history, I’m not gonna shout it out.”
“Thank God. Thank you so much,” he said, heaving a huge sigh.
“I’m gonna tell her soft and slow, right in her ear.” Carla was heading toward Lauren before Griff could stop her. He tried to block her way, but she scooted to the left, giving him the slip. When she got to her destination, she bent down, cupped her hands, and spoke softly.
The room was so quiet Griff could hear a crow caw from a tree outside. The patrons in the bar stared at Carla and Lauren. A few looked at Griff and snickered.
“What?” Lauren straightened in her seat. “What? No. I don’t believe it.”
Carla leaned over and spoke again.
Lauren blushed pink then redder and redder. She shot a look at Griff. He stared at her, pleading with his eyes. She stumbled up from the table. “I’m sorry, Marnie. I’ve got to go.”
“It’s on the house,” Carla said, returning to the bar. Her eyes glistened with malevolence as she glared at Griff.
“I can’t believe you did that.”
“Just be happy I didn’t scream it out to the whole room.” She returned to washing glasses.
“I thought we were friends.”
“Yeah? Feel betrayed? Now you know how I felt, jerk.”
By the time I was twenty-eight, I had reached the position of Media Director at Ogilvy & Mather Direct. I took my job seriously. The president had sent me to a one-day conference about mailing lists. During the opening address, I sat in the darkness with notebook in hand, scribbling. But two men in the row in front of me kept talking, whispering. It was annoying. Good money had been spent to send me and I was going to be damned if I wasn’t going to wring every drop of information from that day. So I “shushed” the men, one, two –well , maybe even three times.
When the lights went on, the two gentlemen sitting in front of me stood up. One turned to face me and smiled. The men were the president of my company, and the president of American Express, our biggest client. My boss introduced me as the woman who wanted them to keep quiet. They chuckled, but I was so mortified I wanted to fall through the floor.
I hope all your embarrassing moments morph into incidents you can laugh at, eventually! Thanks for joining Griff and me today
Buy links for Griff Montgomery, Quarterback – 2nd place winner of the DNSB Reader’s Choice Award as Favorite Sports Book Boyfriend.
You can find his story in ebook, paperback and audio here:
Barnes and Noble
Audio - iTunes
Audio – Audible
Jean Joachim, wife and mother of two sons, is owned by a rescued pug, named Homer. She’d been writing non-fiction for what seemed like forever until she got up the nerve to try fiction. It was love. Now she spends her days in New York City in the company of her characters, with a cup of tea and a secret stash of black licorice. Jean can be found at www.jeanjoachimbooks.com