Thursday, June 7, 2012

Carnivalesque: The Travelling Blog Show - Saying Yes to the Dress

Wedding dresses: Or Saying Yes to the Dress. If you had to do it again what type of dress would you pick?

Jana: My husband and I didn’t have a lot of money when we got engaged. We’d both just finished university and were starting our first full-time jobs. Our parents were helping us with the costs of the wedding, but we were paying for a lot of things ourselves. Money was definitely on my mind when I was thinking of my wedding dress.

So I decided that rather than buy a dress that was going to cost a lot of money for just one day, I would ask my aunt, an accomplished seamstress, to sew my dress. To save money, I made my own veil, borrowing the headdress from my sister-in-law. I didn’t even try on any ready-made wedding dresses, probably because I was afraid I’d fall in love with something I couldn’t afford and just feel bad.

My dress was very flowing, in a jersey-like material (it was probably polyester) with a fitted bodice and big sleeves. Very seventies. Looking at it now, it was too much dress for someone as short as me; it kind of looks like a nightgown here. But at the time I was okay with my choice. That is, until I was walking down the street one day and happened to pass by a bridal shop. In the window I saw a fitted, A-line dress with a little jacket. I can’t remember details about the dress; all I remember is that it was very classy and elegant looking, and I knew instinctively that it was the dress I should have been wearing to my wedding.



My aunt did a beautiful job on my dress, fitting it perfectly and embellishing it with tiny seed pearls that she sewed on the bodice. I don’t exactly regret my wedding dress. But I’ll always think about that dress in the bridal shop window, and what might have been.

If I could go back and talk to my twenty-one year old self I’d tell her that she’d only be getting married once, and that even if she didn’t buy one of the dresses in a bridal shop, she should at least give herself the fun and special experience of trying some on. I should have had a more classic, more fitted dress, like Kate Middleton's, perhaps minus the train. Now, if only I looked like her:




What was your experience with your wedding dress? Did you love your dress or like me, did you pine for the one that got away? What kind of dress do you wish you'd worn? If you've never been married, or didn't wear a wedding dress at your wedding, how do you imagine your fantasy dress?

Joanne Brothwell, Janet Corcoran, Hayley E. Lavik and Karyn Good are here to tell us their wedding dress stories:

Joanne: If I could do it all over, I would definitely change my wedding dress. At the time, I was going through a phase where I believed it was virtuous to be minimal. Don't be house proud. Don't dress too flamboyant. Be natural. I was also influenced by a prominent celebrity wedding dress earlier that year:



Alas, my dress was dreadfully plain, completely unlike the princess-y dresses I'd always imagined as a child, sitting on my pink satin bedspread below my four-poster lace canopy bed.

If I could choose my dress today, it would be over-the-top princess. It's only once in your life that you can really justify looking like a pimped-out Disney character, so why not?

This is what my new dress would look like:


Karyn: I’d still say yes to my dress! To the long train with the large fabric flowers trailing down the back, the lace, and the enormous puffed sleeves. Especially, the puffed sleeves! Very Anne Shirley! But only if I could time travel back to 1990. If I was getting married today I’d have Bella’s wedding dress from the Twilight Breaking Dawn movie. And Edward. Just kidding. Maybe. I’d also have to lose, like, half my body weight. So probably a different style would suit better!







But my all time favorite wedding dress is still Princess Di’s! I loved that dress, although I would never have picked it for myself. Isn’t that strange? I thought it was the perfect dress for a princess. I guess when push comes to shove I’ll always be a product of the ‘80’s. I still miss big hair. But I hear puffed sleeves are back in.



Hayley:  You know, I really don't think I've ever thought about this. Before I was faced with actually choosing a wedding dress, I hadn't ever thought about it either, and then suddenly there's a rack full of monstrous white billows and I have to choose something. I owe my surviving sanity after that day to my dear best friend, who allowed several racks of white monsters to consume her on my behalf.

I came out with my favourite, and told them to change all the embroidery from blue to awesome red, and I still love the dress for that. For that wedding, it was perfect, and thank god I will never have to do something like that again!

BUT...if I did something completely different in an alternate universe, I would totally do something involving vaguely period costume and ruffles.




Or an Princess Zelda dress complete with sword: 




Ooh, or maybe this swoon-worthy Wonder Woman gown because where else would I get to wear that!?



Wow, what a collection of dresses! I'd love to here about your wedding dress. Comment away! 

23 comments:

  1. This should be a fun discussion! I'm away for a part of the morning but I'll be back later to join in the fun.

    Jana

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  2. Sorry I didn't get my stuff to you in time, Jana - but here I am now. We got married in my parents' backyard - family only - so I knew I didn't want the traditional gown (plus, we were older and had been living together for some time - the wedding really was just a formality for my very traditional mom). I purchased the dress with my mom and my aunt (who was visiting from Scotland) a whole year before the wedding - and loved it from the moment I put it on. Would I pick the same one? Absolutely! Sage green, full lace over silky satin, long sleeves and mid-calf - I posted a picture of it on my blog this morning, if anyone's interested.

    I love weddings - and I love wedding gowns (Say Yes to the Dress is one of my favorite shows to watch). I loved Di's dress, Karyn - she was such a fairy tale princess in that dress. And I loved Kate's dress. I'm so glad you posted a picture, Jana - you look fabulous, so happy! Love the 'pimped-out Disney character' image, Joanne - but I'm thinking you probably looked awesome in your 'plain' wedding dress. Hayley, I love that period costume!!!

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    1. I don't watch a lot of reality TV, but I do occasionally watch Say Yes to the Dress! I love the Atlanta one. But I absolutely cannot watch the bridesmaid version. Some of them are just too mean. Bride and Maids!

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    2. Hmmm, haven't seen the one with the bridemaids!

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    3. I'm going to have to skip on over to your blog to see your wedding dress Janet! I'm glad you loved it, and still love it so much.

      I have seen the bridesmaid version of say Yes to the Dress and it's enough to make you want to strangle someone. Usually the bridesmaid who doesn't like any of the brides' choices and is only concerned about herself. Glad I'm not getting married again.

      Jana

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  3. I spent a lot of years doing weddings with my then-boyfriend the mobile DJ. I also worked in a bridal salon. All those years of seeing brides stuffed into all manner of gowns burned me out. When it came time for my own wedding years later, I was so not into all the frills and lace and beads and sweetheart necklines and mermaids and poof. I ordered separates from a catalog (Chadwick's, I think) and went with 'pretty but casual'. Since we got married by a judge, it worked for us.

    If I had to do it over, I'd still choose the more casual route, but if I could go back in time to when I was 21 (instead of 34 when I finally did find Mr. Right), I'd go something silky and simple - like the first dress Joanne posted up there.

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    1. Hi B.E.! I can totally sympathize with you not wanting a traditional dress after having to deal with groups and groups of women searching for the right dress! Or watching them swish around in them for that first dance.

      But I have to ask - did you come across any absolutely evil bridezillas? Any that stand out?

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    2. Ooh, I bet you saw all kinds of dresses, B.E. - and there's nothing worse than going to a wedding and witnessing a bride who is uncomfortable in her dress! Your day = your way - in my opinion.

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    3. OMG, the dress place I worked was lousy with bridezillas - it was one of those upscale places where a salesperson brings dresses to you. The worst ones were the gals who came in with no appointment and wanted to be waited on immediately. Working with the DJ, though, I just remember how many brides I found crying in the bathroom because of mom-zillas or inlaw-zillas.

      I saw tons, Janet. And at the dress shop, the salespeople liked to put them on me to see how they looked. So I got to try on some pricey stuff. Ah, to be young again. LOL

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    4. Just like the show! And that is so sad about the crying brides! I'm very fortunate to not have either of those.

      I'd would have loved trying on all the dresses!

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  4. I hear you, Hayley! If there's a me in a parallel universe who's never been married before and about to walk down the aisle, she's going to go totally crazy and have a theme wedding with a whole Roaring Twenties feel to it!

    Love the pics Jana and Janet! You both look beautiful! And happy. That's the main thing! I love Kate's dress. It suited her perfectly. She has such a lovely style.

    Joanne, I'm sure you looked beautiful, too. But I love the second pick!

    This whole discussion makes me want to write a book that includes a wedding. I'm not sure if I want that wedding to be a crazy, looney tunes wedding. Or a serious princess-y wedding. Hum...

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    1. A themed wedding would be fun, Karyn - I think, if I were doing theme, I'd do Victorian...beautiful lace, men in morning suits, women with huge hats - or slightly after that, think Titanic costumes!!

      Get writing ;) Thinking of possible plot lines makes me think The Wedding Planner with J-Lo (love that movie).

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    2. Maybe we should also discuss favorite 'wedding movies'?

      Without a doubt mine is My Big Fat Greek Wedding! How much do I love that movie!

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    3. Loved that one, Karyn.

      I also loved The Wedding Date with Debra Messing and Dermot Mulroney (swoon). I could watch wedding movies over and over again!!

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    4. Karyn, I think a roaring twenties themed wedding would be fabulous! I love the dresses of that period.

      I hadn't actually looked at our wedding pictures in years, so it was fun to take a stroll down memory lane. I was very happy that day!

      I'm sure Joanne looked gorgeous in her 'simple' dress. How could she not? By the way, she's in San Diego today and not able to comment. Hope you have a great time Joanne!

      Karyn, I've written one book that starts with a wedding (Her Best Man) and I'm currently working a series to go along with that book, where every story starts with someone getting left at the altar. So they're all kind of crazy weddings!

      Jana

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    5. There are actually quite a few wedding movies. What about "My Best Friend's Wedding" with Julia Roberts? That's a good one too. But I agree with you Karyn, my favorite is "My Big Fat Greek Wedding". Nia Vardalos, good Winnipeg girl!

      Jana

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  5. Jana and all,

    Funny this blog topic should come up since I'm currently researching bridal attire for my wip. As someone said above, the important thing is that you look happy on your day, which you truly did Jana. My wedding dress was a long-sleeved, boat neck, covered in lace number which, I have to admit, I chose because it fit perfectly. No alterations needed. And at the time, I was all of 18, I didn't have to worry about putting on weight because it came off so easily. Those were the days, huh? So long ago.

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    1. Hey Margo - welcome to Carnivalesque :) Your dress sounds lovely! And yay for being young and not having to worry about weight (why doesn't it stay like that?).

      Good luck with your research. I had a blast researching medieval weddings when I married off Lady Bells to Hugh de Graham - and I loved creating her wedding dress from all the ideas I found!! There were some really neat traditions, too - ones that have carried over to modern times (for instance the veil, which was used to protect the bride from the evil eye...now adays, it's just a fancy part of the dress).

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  6. Welcome Margo! Have fun with your research. I think it would be a lot of fun to outfit a character for their wedding day!

    Oh, a perfect fit! That must have been a wonderful feeling. I think getting married has gotten a lot more complicated and expensive since I got married way back when.

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  7. Thanks so much for dropping by Margo! You're lucky to have had such a perfect fit. Nothing ever fits me perfectly, not even when I was eighteen. At the very least, I have to shorten everything!

    Karyn, you're absolutely right about weddings being more complicated and expensive. Our wedding was so simple in comparision to some. We had it in my small hometown in the local hall. My aunts and my mother made most of the food and the wedding cake. Our big extended families pitched in to help us.

    Nowadays, it seems that some people feel they have to put on this big production, almost like a show. I think people should pay more attention to the marriage, and a little less on the wedding!

    Jana

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  8. Hi Everyone,
    My husband and I got married because the manager at the apartment building wouldn't rent to us unless we were married and we were in love. As with all young couples money was tight and it was the '70's so the idea of commitment was being challenged. I found a long white dress at Sally's shop, (it was a left over from New Years) had a deeeeep V and sequences along the V. I wore a big floppy hat and dyed my sister's ballerina black shoes white. We eloped in the Catholic Church and so there was me, my husband, my sister in her plaid mini suit and big hat, and my husband's best friend in a borrowed corduroy jacket, the priest and a couple of women praying in the cathedral. It was the coldest day in Feb. I did carry a bouquet of daisies. So whenever see daisies out and about they remind me of that day. I never think of doing it differently. We just did what we wanted to and had our apartment.
    The dress takes on so much importance. I too will have to try and write a story with a dress as the metaphor for the present and future. But I'll have to stretch my imagination. Perhaps that's why my heroines haven't ever made it to the alter.

    Yours truly,
    Annette

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    1. Hey, Annette - I love you 'wedding' story and the significance of 'daisies' in your life! Those are the kinds of things we writers need to remember when we write our heroine's story; the little things that will last forever in our memories and the uniqueness that makes every wedding special!

      Interesting that none of your heroines have made it to the alter!!

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    2. Hi Annette! Sounds like a lovely wedding day complete with daisies. Very intimate! I agree with Janet, those little details are what scenes need to make them come alive!

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